My Wife and Kids

Name: My Wife and Kids
Genre: Comedy, Family
Rating: 7.7

7.7/10 Community Score

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Genres: Comedy Family

First Aired: 2001-03-28Length: 25 MinStatus: Ended

Available at: Disney+ (Can be changed Report errors.)

Michael Kyle longs for a traditional life, but his day-trader wife Janet, gangsta rap-worshipping son Michael Jr., and brooding daughters Claire and Kady make his dream just that ... a dream. (Source: thetvdb.com)

Episodes

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Season 5 (show/hide)
3	Childcare Class	2004-09-28
Michael fails a child-care course for grandparents, so Vanessa and Jr. refuse to let him baby-sit his grandchild.
1	Fantasy Camp (1)	2004-09-21
Michael can't focus on much else after learning that he'll be going to sports legend Michael Jordan's fantasy basketball camp in Las Vegas. Everyone shares his excitement – but for different reasons – and finds some reason as to why they should tag along. Once there, Michael learns that there's been a mix-up with the game schedule, so he resorts to some inventive ploys of his own to ensure he gets to play his idol.

Season 4 (show/hide)
30	The Baby (2)	2004-05-26
Jr. and Vanessa announce that they want to have the baby at home with the help of Summer Breeze, a midwife whose natural childbirth methods include the whole family's participation.
29	The Baby (1)	2004-05-26
Jr. and Vanessa announce that they want to have the baby at home with the help of Summer Breeze, a midwife whose natural childbirth methods include the whole family's participation.
28	What Do You Know?	2004-05-19
The family plays a game which shows them exactly how much they know about each other.
27	Hand Model	2004-05-12
In a twist of fate, Michael is recruited as a hand model during Claire's modeling audition. As he flaunts his newfound fame, he is careful to protect the family's new financial asset Ã¢€“ his hands. Meanwhile Franklin feels threatened by Kady's friendship with Rachel, so, on Jr.'s advice, he takes matters into his own hands.
26	The Maid	2004-05-05
While Jay is away at a seminar, Michael hires a maid, Mrs. Hopkins, to look after the family. Mrs. Hopkins fulfills their every need and want to a sweet perfection, including homemade ice cream, an immaculately clean house and handmade outfits for Claire. When Jay comes home, she appreciates Mrs. Hopkins' attention to every detail, but begins to feel that perhaps she has taken over just a bit too much.
25	The Director	2004-04-28
In his excitement to tape a basketball game, Michael accidentally records over a home video of Kady's first steps, which happens to be one of Jay's most cherished family moments. When Jay decides to have a family home movie night, Michael must act quickly and enlists Franklin's help to reenact that moment of Kyle family history.
24	Romantic Night	2004-04-21
Wanting to spend quiet time together, Michael plans a romantic evening with Jay at an exclusive hotel. Then, when Jr. mistakenly cancels the reservation, Michael tries to create a romantic night at home. But things take a disastrous turn when Michael hurts his head trying to shut off the water valve, Jay handcuffs them to each other Ã¢€“ but can't find the key Ã¢€“ and a burnt roast almost causes the house to burn down.
23	Calvin Goes to Work	2004-03-31
When the overwhelmingly strong and gregarious Calvin, Vanessa's dad, begs Michael to give him a job at Kyle Trucking, Michael does so reluctantly and his worst fears are realized. Calvin's way of dealing with customers and merchandise leaves a little to be desired, and now Michael must find a way to get rid of the man without getting himself hurt in the process. Meanwhile, Claire gets Franklin to help her with her science paper.
22	Calvin Comes to Stay	2004-03-10
Calvin, Vanessa's gregarious father, has an argument with his wife, Jasmine, gets kicked out of the house and moves in with the Kyles, against their wishes. When he starts eating everything in sight and keeps everyone awake with his loud snoring, a frustrated Michael comes up with a clever plan to get Calvin back home.
21	Empty Nest (2)	2004-03-03
During a rare occasion when Michael and Jay have the house to themselves, they find themselves reminiscing about the fun times they've had with their kids and various friends. Some of these memorable moments include Jay's obsession with her weight and Michael's visit to a proctologist.
20	Empty Nest (1)	2004-03-03
During a rare occasion when Michael and Jay have the house to themselves, they find themselves reminiscing about the fun times they've had with their kids and various friends. Some of these memorable moments include Jay's obsession with her weight and Michael's visit to a proctologist.
19	Outbreak Monkey	2004-02-25
When an ecstatic Michael scores a ticket to see basketball star LeBron James play at Madison Square Garden, his excitement quickly turns to paranoia when, just days before the game, everyone in the Kyle household, except Michael, comes down with the flu. To ensure that he won't miss the game, he goes to absurd extremes to keep from getting sick, including spraying disinfectant on his family and using a ten-foot grabber to hand Jay her orange juice.
18	Illegal Smile	2004-02-18
The day after an anti-wrinkle injection goes awry for Michael and he ends up with an unnatural expression, he has to fight a traffic ticket in court. The judge is angered by his frozen grin and sentences him to a night in jail, where Michael's cell mate, Big Guy, thinks Michael is coming on to him since he keeps smiling at him.
17	The Anniversary Present	2004-02-11
Michael and Jay try to hide their disappointment when they don't receive the wedding anniversary gifts each are expecting from each other. Meanwhile, with Franklin's help, novice cook Claire hopes to prepare a gourmet dinner for her parents' anniversary present.
16	Jr. Sells His Car	2004-02-04
Jr. restores his prized 1964 Impala, but then he and Vanessa surprise everyone when they decide to sell it in order to have money for their new baby. Meanwhile, Franklin seeks advice from Michael on how to act more like a normal kid.
15	Candy Wars	2004-01-21
When Kady wants to spend some quality time with her father, she enlists Michael's help in the school candy drive. But when the father of last year's winner claims he can prevail once again, a competitive Michael loses sight of helping Kady and commits to selling an exorbitant number of chocolate bars.
14	Moving on Out	2004-01-07
Tired of living in the garage, Jr. looks for an apartment and enlists his buddy, John, to be a co-signerÃ¢€¦ except that John has to dress up and pose as Jr.'s grandmother for the realtor. When Jr. and Vanessa's families come to visit the couple's new apartment, Jay is shocked to find that her new grandchild might be living in a run-down building with yellow police tape around the entrance.
13	Of Mice and Man	2003-12-17
When Jay finds mouse droppings, she demands that Michael hire an exterminator to get rid of them, but, as usual, Michael is determined to handle it himself. Meanwhile, Claire is also freaked out by a rodent when she accidentally runs over a squirrel while driving home.
12	The Lady is Not a Tramp	2003-12-10
Michael's imagination takes off when he finds a package of condoms in daughter Claire's backpack the same day her boyfriend, Tony, is returning from a month in the desert. Annoyed that her father is jumping to conclusions, Claire decides to give him a taste of his own unique brand of discipline. Meanwhile Jr. accidentally gives Kady his pet dog's medicine and Kady pretends to turn into a dog.
11	Michael's Band	2003-11-26
When Michael's old friend and former bandmate, Johnny ""Saxophone"" Watson, comes to town for a gig, it turns out Johnny's piano player can't make it. Michael eagerly accepts an invitation to take the man's place, but refuses to admit that his musical skills have gotten rusty. Meanwhile, love is blind when it comes to Franklin realizing that his little sister, Aretha, is a much better singer than the tone-deaf Kady.
10	While Out	2003-11-19
Much to Claire's delight, Michael and Jay forget to recite their house rules Ã¢€” ""No friends, no fires, no freedom, no fun"" Ã¢€” before going out for the night. As a result, Claire decides to throw a party so she can get in with the so-called right crowd. Things get raucous when someone spikes the punch and a drunken Tony fulfills a fantasy and streaks down the street naked.
9	Marathon	2003-11-12
When Jay works hard to get in shape and run a marathon, Michael thinks that, since he's a man, he can run the marathon as well - without any real training. Meanwhile, bible-quoting Tony asks the gorgeous Claire to dress "ugly" so he won't feel so turned on.
8	Ultrasound	2003-11-05
The Kyles and Vanessa's parents escort her to her first ultrasound. When asked if they wanted to know the baby's sex, Michael is the only one who stands out with a positive answer. Obsessed with knowing whether he's having a grandson or a granddaughter, he tries by all means to have the doctor tell him. He finally assumes it's a boy, and tells Jay and eventually the rest of the family. But in the end the situation reverses as they all confirm with the doctor the real sex of the future Kyle and leave Michael out in the rain. Meanwhile, Franklyn freaks out with the idea of losing Kady to ""Smilin' Willie"" and tries to learn how to be a dance master.
7	The Funeral	2003-10-29
The Kyles are willing to support Michael's inconsolable employee, Larry, who can't get over losing his 103-year-old grandmother. But Larry goes overboard when, at the funeral, he asks little Kady to kiss his ""Grammy"" goodbye and for Jay to sing his beloved grandmother's favorite R&B song.
6	He's Having a Baby	2003-10-22
Worried about Junior's fathering skills, Michael decides to enroll him in a parenting course. Junior is reluctant to attend, so Michael gives him a water balloon that Junior should keep for a week as if it was the baby. If it breaks, he'll have to attend the course. Michael doesn't let Junior have it easy, and Junior insists that more than wanting to teach him how to be a good parent, Michael doesn't have any trust in him.
5	Meet the Parents	2003-10-15
Vanessa's parents come over the Kyles house to discuss the future baby's situation. Michael is outraged with the demands from the Scotts, but Calvin's size makes Michael think twice before taking any drastic measures. They take the Scotts out for dinner and are left with the bill. Realizing they have a couple of con artists on their hands, Michael and Jay stand up for themselves and set the baby's true needs Ã¢€“ which don't include a new house for the Scotts as Calvin wanted.
4	Jay Goes to School	2003-10-08
Jay decides to go to college and get her psychology degree, which Michael fully reprehends her for. He doesn't want her to put the household in second because it would jeopardize the entire family and eventually could ruin their marriage. After going to a real psychologist, Michael and Jay come to terms and she agrees to scale back her classes as he decides to let her pursue her dream. Meanwhile, Junior's friends turn his old crib into some sort of vehicle.
3	Jr. Executive	2003-10-01
Michael wants Jr. to learn the family business by starting at the bottom, so he assigns Jr. to do menial jobs around Kyle Trucking. Jr., however, decides to use the fact that he's the boss' son to his advantage and convinces other employees to do his work for him. Meanwhile, Claire arranges a secret date with a guy she met on the Internet in a Shakespeare chat room.
2	The Sweet Hairafter	2003-09-24
Michael meets his friend Jimmy at the golf club and is impressed with how much hair he's grown with the help of some ""miracle"" pills called ""Come Hair Now"". As he starts to take them in overdose, weird stripes of hair rise from his chronically bald head. He's jealous of his hair and won't let anyone touch it. He also starts to get paranoiac that Jay is trying to kill him after they make a life insurance, but turns out it was just one of the side effects of the pill. Meanwhile, Kady becomes very jealous of Claire when she volunteers to be on the big sister program.
1	From Dummy to Daddy	2003-09-24
After hearing the shocking news that their son Junior is going to become a father, Michael and Jay freak out. They try to talk with him and help him realize he can't support a family living in their garage and having no job, so Michael offers him a job at his firm. Due to Michael's teasing with the boy, he gets late for his first day and Michael fires him after his second tardiness. But seeing that his son needs all the help he can get, Michael gives him another chance. Meanwhile, Tony feels guilty about having spicy thoughts about Claire and Franklyn is still out for Junior's spot on the Kyle family.

Season 3 (show/hide)
27	Graduation (2)	2003-05-21
Junior finally graduates, and his parents give him a trip to Japan as a gift Ã¢€“ and as a way to separate Junior and Vanessa, who are planning on moving in together and getting married as soon as they start college. Both Kady and Clare admit their sadness on Junior leaving, and Michael and Jay feel proud of having raised a semi-successful child. They go out to relive some of their memories and when they come back late at night they find Junior and Vanessa sitting in the kitchen. He's decided not to go to Japan anymore. Vanessa is pregnant. Guest stars: Louis Price
26	Graduation (1)	2003-05-21
Jr.'s graduation is coming up, and he breaks the news to his family that he wants to go to college. At first shocked, Michael decides to help him make a good interview, but his anxiety and lack of good sense makes him look like a complete moron. He even tries to bride the interviewer, when he's finally asked to leave Jr. alone. The kid does reasonably good. A few days later a letter arrives at the Kyles, saying that Jr. got accepted but has to take summer school classes. Meanwhile, Clare wears a blond wig to call her parents attention, thinking she has been forgotten now that Jr. is on the spot. And Franklin applies to the soon available son spot on the Kyle family. Guest stars: David Higgins
25	Not So Hostile Takeover	2003-05-14
Claire comes home with the exciting news that she was invited to senior prom. Jay is excited about it and volunteers to chaperone at the dance, in order to keep Claire safe from her date, a senior quarterback. But Jay's exaggerated excitement makes Claire feel uncomfortable, especially when her parents are crowned queen and king of the prom. Michael tells Claire that she shouldn't be upset about it because Jay never attended her own prom as she was giving birth to Junior that night, and so Claire lets her mom enjoy her moment. Meanwhile, Junior falls into another one of Michael's plans once he tries to teach the kid a lesson about money management and ends up turning his car the exact opposite of Junior's plans. Guest stars: Roshawn Franklin
24	The Big Bang Theory	2003-05-07
Michael and Jay panic when Claire reveals that she and Tony have decided to have sex. Her parents try by all means to change their minds and stop them, unsuccessfully. When the day and time comes, their find out Claire has sneaked out of the house and panic. Claire and Tony show up a few minutes later, and just when Michael is ready to kill him, Tony reveals that they didn't do anything. Just when they were about to do it, he opened the drawer on the hotel room's nightstand and found a bible, which he took as a sign from God. But he doesn't have to know that every hotel has a bible. Guest stars: Maggie Rowe
23	Tee for Too Many	2003-04-30
Jay decides to spend more quality time with Michael - by watching him play golf. Meanwhile, Jr., who only wants to go to college because Vanessa's going, asks Franklin for help with the application essay.
22	Sharon's Picture	2003-04-09
Jay gets mad at Michael after finding a photo of an attractive former girlfriend among his things. Franklin has trouble admitting that his little sister Aretha is an outstanding singer. Guest stars: Allen Todd Lynn, Brian Holtzman, DeRay Davis, Jamia Simone Nash, Terry Rhoads
21	Claire's Permit	2003-03-26
Claire has taken her driving permit, but Michael won't lend her the car because he doesn't think she can drive very well. Nevertheless, Claire steals the car keys thinking if she goes out really quick while her parents are gone they will never notice. Unfortunately, she drives by them on her way to meet her friends, and Michael decides to teach her a lesson on the Michael Kyle style: stealing the car and making Clare feel guilty about it. She goes to Junior for help, and they call the police reporting the stolen car. Michael ends up in jail due to the mixup, but he and Clare end up getting along after everything is cleared up. Guest stars: Clint Culp
20	Here Come Da Judge	2003-03-05
When Jr and Claire find a lost wallet containing $500, it's time for a session of ""family court"" to decide who gets the money. Meanwhile, Claire's boyfriend Tony induces her to become a vegetarian.
19	Jury Duty	2003-02-26
Michael and Jay are asked to serve jury duty together. Michael's elected foreman and wants to move on the trial quickly so he can get home to watch the ""Godfather"" marathon on TV. But Jay won't vote in guilty because she thinks there has to be a debate first. Thanks to that, Michael ends up missing the marathon, and has to rent the videos to catch up with the movie. At the video store, he meets an insurance salesman whom he mistakes for a mobster, and is convinced that the mob is after him due to the case. The case ends up being dismissed before they can vote, and Jay is disappointed that Michael wouldn't back her up but has her revenge when Michael acts like a fool.
18	Jr.'s Risky Business (2)	2003-02-12
After walking in on Jr. and his girlfriend having sex on his bed, Michael decides that he and Junior can no longer live under the same roof and throws his son out. Feeling sympathetic for her baby, Jay opposes to Michael's attitude, but at the same time agrees the boy needs a severe punishment. She had Jr. stay on a tent in the backyard until she can cool things down with Michael, who only realizes he might be estranging his son for good after Vanessa has a woman-to-woman talk with Jay. Michael lets Jr. move back, remembering that he once was in the same position as Jr.
17	Jr.'s Risky Business (1)	2003-02-05
As a very impressed Michael sees it, his son's girlfriend, Vanessa is an absolute prize: ""She's beautiful, smart, personable and polite... you guys have nothing in common,"" he tells Jr. But there's something about her that rubs Jay the wrong way. Elsewhere in the courtship department, Kady's similarly smart and personable gentleman caller is a budding piano prodigy named Franklin. As for Claire, all she's courting is a severe case of nerves: the PSATs are coming up and her face has broken out in hives. Guest stars: Steve Schirripa
16	Man of the Year	2003-01-29
Jay nominates Michael for the ""Small Businessman of the Year"" award and he assumes he's going to win it (especially after a golfing buddy on the organization's board tells him: ""If my vote were the only one that counted, you'd be a shoo-in""). Meanwhile, Claire helps herself to items from Jay's makeup bag once too often.
15	Blackout	2003-01-22
Michael wants some time alone in the house and makes a deal with Jay for her and the kids to get out of the house. But of course it doesn't come as easy as he hoped. He has to pay for Claire to agree on going to the mall and is forced to watch The Little Mermaid with Kady for the hundredth time. He switches the movie to Gremlins, which scares the death out of the poor girl, and when the power goes off Claire freaks out about losing her entire work on the computer. In the end, the power failure ends up bringing the Kyles closer together.
14	Michael's Tribe	2002-12-18
Michael (aka: Chief Bald Eagle) is recruited to camp out with Kady and her friends and teach them Native American lore. Meanwhile, Clare and ""the new Tony"" plan to stay out all night themselves: they're plotting to sneak out to a ""rave.""
13	Open Your Heart	2002-12-11
Jay decides to attend a ""Open Your Heart"" seminar for struggling couples, even though she and Michael are happier than ever. Her excuse is ""prevention"", but Michael warns her not to try fixing something that isn't broken. At the seminar, they are teased against each other and stop talking to one another. It takes Kady suffering an accident at school for them to realize how important communication between them really is. Meanwhile, Michael wants his children to learn the value of money and tells Jr. to start his own business selling monkeyfish like he. Jr., instead of the monkeyfish, decides to get 100% refunds on the clothes Claire buys with a 40% discount at the store she's working. When Jr. gets caught, Claire gets fired and Michael punishes him by making he wear the clothes he wanted refund. Guest stars: Joe Gieb, Kathy Gieb, Richard Lyons, T.J. Thyne, Tamara Lynch, Terry Rhoads
12	Chair Man of the Board	2002-12-04
Michael's old friend Tommy is coming over and Michael is very excited because he and Tommy used to compete for everything. But his excitement soon turns into awkwardness when Tommy shows in on a wheelchair and Michael doesn't know how to act with the situation. Tommy decides to take advantage of that until they have a talk in which Tommy asks Michael to treat him like he used to, because despite the wheelchair he's the same guy that used to race Michael for anything. Meanwhile, Claire is caught shoplifting and gets grounded for it. When she confronts Kady about who put the nail polishers on her purse she feels so guilty she confesses to their parents that Claire didn't do it. The punishment? She will no longer be treated like a baby.
11	Jay the Artist	2002-11-27
Feeling that she has no space and time of her own due to home duties, Jay decides to paint. The result is a portrait of Michael based on Michelangelo's David, which makes Michael feel a little bit ""diminished"". They start an argument over it, which ends on Michael finally agreeing on letting Jay show her work at a friend's art gallery Ã¢€“ with a ""big"" change, that is. Meanwhile, Michael renews acquaintances with old buddy Steve, while the kids are encouraged to develop their artistic abilities aswell. Claire designs clothes, Kady plays the piano and Junior writes some bizarre poetry Guest stars: Chene Lawson, Edith Fields, Gillian Waters, Steve Harvey
10	Jr.'s Dating Dilemma	2002-11-20
Michael decides to help Junior on his women approach techniques, seeing that his son has absolutely no clue on how to behave around women. His advice consists on primarily having women say ""really?"", which is the key for a successful approach. When Jr. tests Michaels advice on one of Claire friends, he's surprised that it works, and even gets the girl to agree on going on a school dance with him. But Jr. was just testing her so he could ask the hottest girl on school out, which he does (and she accepts, on a move to make her ex-boyfriend jealous). Claire's friend is crushed, and Michael now has to teach him how to apologize properly to a woman. Meanwhile, Jay freaks out about her dream of Michael and Janet Jackson having an affair. Guest stars: Lena Cardwell
9	Sister Story	2002-11-13
Michael's sister Kelly is coming over for the weekend, which freaks Jay out because every time Kelly comes over she overstays her welcome and always gets on Jay's nerves. This time is no different, with Kelly constantly throwing on Jay's face that she is fatter than her, a worse cook than her and even tries to make her look like a bad singer, even though Jay can sing wonderfully. Things heat up when Kelly brings up Sharon, Michael's old girlfriend and Kelly's best friend. The two women get into an argument and it's up to Michael to break them up. He pulls it, and Kelly and Jay finally get along. But for how long?
8	The Fighting Kyles	2002-11-06
Sick and tired of listening to their kids fights, Michael and Janet act like they are fighting themselves so Jr. and Claire can see how annoying it is and quit it. But the three Kyle children get the wrong idea and think their parents are splitting up, and try their best to bond them and end the fake fights.
7	Crouching Mother, Hidden Father	2002-10-30
Jay volunteered to be the director for Kady's kindergarten class play, but due to illness she is forced to step away from the production, leaving it all on the hands of Michael Ã¢€“ for the children's salvation, because Jay was way too competitive, even arguing with their teacher over the quality of their last show. Michael allows the children to make any changes they want on Shakespeare's ""Romeo and Juliet"", and the result is a very successful Ã¢€“ and very weird Ã¢€“ play. Guest stars: Beanie Feldstein, Bobb'e J. Thompson, Christian Torchon, Damani Roberts, Drake Johnston, Elliot Cho, Jessica Sara, Logan Arens, Philip Bolden, Serena Williams, Toran Hylton
6	Claire's New Boyfriend	2002-10-23
After Michael admits liking Claire's boyfriend, Tony, she dumps him. The poor kid is devastated, and since Michael likes him so much he decides he's going to help Tony win Claire back Ã¢€“ specially after seeing her new boyfriend, Jason (or ""1040 EZ"" as he likes to call himself). The results aren't good, so Michael has a heart-to-heart with Claire. He explains to her that Jason isn't good to her, and any men who are with her should treat her like the princess she is. Since the talk doesn't show any results either, Michael decides to act like he likes Jason and see if that makes Claire dislike him. Luckily, Claire comes back to her senses and gets back together with Tony. Meanwhile, Jay refuses to admit she looks like Jr.'s drawing of her. Instead, she believes she looks more like Halle Berry. Guest stars: Donnell Barrett
5	Diary of a Mad Teen	2002-10-16
While making Claire's bed, Jay finds her diary hidden under the mattress. She can't resist the temptation of reading it and is quite shocked to learn that her daughter is thinking about taking the next step with Tony. She has a heart-to-heart talk with Claire, about the consequences of pursuing hr hormonal desires. Meanwhile, Michael is scheduled for an appointment with the eye doctor even though he insists there's nothing wrong with his sight (doesn't matter than he can't even read the paper without squishing his eyes). He decides to have Jr. drive him there so he can test his driving abilities for an upcoming date with a girl. When he comes out of the doctor's office, Jr. is gone, and Michael tells him that he disappointed him big time, and if he can't trust Jr. to be there for his family, then he might want to consider moving out. And all Kady wants to do is play hide-and-seek. Guest stars: Chelsea Handler, Gedde Watanabe
4	Samba Story	2002-10-09
Tired of the same dinner-and-a-movie routine, Jay convinces Michael to take dancing lessons to spice up their relationship. At first reluctant, Jay's argument that wins Michael over is that he better go to those lessons or else she'll shut down ""pantyville"". When they get there, only more problems waits for Michael. The samba instructor is all over Jay, which makes him so jealous he has the guy deported. The new instructor, however, is a very attractive woman who is all over Michael, making Jay jealous now. They decide to quit the samba lessons after all and spice up their marriage in their own way. Meanwhile, Claire's accepted in the cheerleading squad, but won't believe she only got in for her looks and not for her talent Ã¢€“ which is none. Guest stars: Joe Vassallo, Jordi Caballero, Porscha Coleman, Rheagan Wallace, Sophia Vergara
3	The Kyles Go to Hawaii (3)	2002-10-02
A mad scramble ensues when Michael finds out that the family's flight home from Hawaii leaves much earlier than he thought, but matters are complicated when a love-smitten Jr. insists on staying with his new love, Leilani. Meanwhile Kady refuses to leave without her beloved doll, Little Pippy, and Claire has to go to extremes to keep her parents from finding out about her exorbitant hotel charges
2	The Kyles Go to Hawaii (2)	2002-09-25
Michael and Janet decide to go out on a romantic dinner, leaving their kids all alone. Claire and Jr. fight over who'll have to stay in the room babysitting for Kady, but Claire lets her brother get out of the duty, after all it's not often he gets a date. Jr. has a memorable night on the beach with Leilani, a native girl. Kady and Claire decide to spend their times on the hotel's spa, while at the dinner table Jay and Michael both struggle to say no to the temptations they met Ã¢€“ an female underwear model and a male chest/abs model. When they go back to the hotel, they find their three kids resting in peace. Kady and Claire are glowing like never before, and Jr. has the biggest smile on his face. With all three sleeping deeply, Michael and Jay decide to extend their night at the beach, celebrating their second honeymoon. Guest stars: Dom Irrera, Nicole Scherzinger, Reesey, Tony Silva Jr., Tyson Beckford
1	The Kyles Go to Hawaii (1)	2002-09-25
The Kyles are leaving for their family vacation on Hawaii, but instead of taking only one flight straight to the island, Michael thought it would be a good idea to make a quick tour around the country, so they make stops at New York, Chicago, Denver and other cities before they get to Hawaii (two days later). When they finally get there, Michael's luggage gets lost and they're forced to take a master suite because their reservation expired. While Michael wants to make it a romantic and resting trip, Jay wants to get to know place, and drags the entire family on a historical tour Ã¢€“ except for Michael, who chose to sleep in. The kids are sick of the tour and go back to the hotel. Jr. tries to meet women and buys a book on how to talk to women subliminally, while Michael keeps scaring away any guy who lays his eyes on Claire. Guest stars: Don Pomes, Esmond Chung, Guy Rodrigues, Katinia Mataele, Kehau Lee, Lan Deal, Lise Simms, Myra Turtle, Nicole Scherzinger, Reesey, Tyson Beckford

Season 2 (show/hide)
29	Anniversary (2)	2002-05-22
The anniversary day finally comes and Michael goes out to play golf, leaving Jay devastated at home. Later, she goes out for drinks with her girlfriend Wanda, who insists Jay should confront Michael. When she gets home, she starts to punch him with the Ali signed boxing gloves she bought for Michael, and he reveals he was just faking it all along with Wanda's help. He gets down on his knee and proposes to Jay. They have a vowel renewal ceremony with the presence of Brian McKnight and renew their vowels and reaffirm their love for each other. Guest stars: Bill Cobbs, Brian McKnight, James T. Williams II, Kevin Knotts, Kym Whitley
28	Anniversary (1)	2002-05-22
Michael and Janet's 15th anniversary is approaching. Jay's girlfriend Wanda brings her Brian McKnight's tickets (a concert Jay was really looking forward to see), but unfortunately she has to turn it down because it's on the same night as their anniversary. Wanda says Michael will forget about it, but Jay refuses to believe in that and even has the kids spy on him to find out if he's secretly planning something. Guest stars: Bill Cobbs, Kym Whitley
27	Jr. Gets His License	2002-05-15
Jr. turns 17 and gets his license and wants to drive. Michael gives Jr. some money to help buy a car that Michael has already picked out for Jr.. Jr. agrees, but then comes back with a different car.
26	The Bowling Show	2002-05-08
The Tylers and The Kyles go at it in a game of bowling. All this is going on during Star Trek night. Junior meanwhiles develops a crush on The Tyler's daughter. Guest stars: Andre Rosey Brown, Andy Morrow, Darrel Heath, Jerry Trainor, Kelly Coffield, Larry Miller, Marina Malota Darling, Mikey Hawtrey
25	Make Over	2002-05-01
Jay and Michael are grocery shopping when they run into Susan Green, former cheerleader from their highschool. Susan is in great shape, which makes Jay feel ugly and inadequate like she did back in high school. Jay feels depressed and Claire talks her into getting a makeover to boost her self-esteem. Meanwhile, Junior gets himself locked in a girl's locker after a misfortunate attempt to steal her bra. Guest stars: Anna Berger, Carla Mackauf, Diane Bliss, Jennia Fredrique Aponte, Jessica Sara, Joy Leslie Hadnott, Kym Whitley, Nicole Prescott
24	Back Story	2002-04-03
When the kids tease him about getting old, Michael pretends to have hurt his back in a game of Twister so they will have to cater to his every whim. Guest stars: Jason Stuart
23	Jr. Kyle, Boy Genius	2002-03-27
After receiving Jr.'s SATs score results (a perfect 1600), the Kyles believe they have a genius in the house and start treating him more respectfully. Unfortunately, the results weren't Jr.'s, and his true score turns out to be only 200. Still, he proves he's not so dumb and puts together the jungle gym Michael couldn't put together for Kady. Meanwhile, Jay asks the girls what they to be when they get older. Claire wants to shop (to for companies, for her), and Kady wants to be an officer, so she starts practicing it around the house.
22	Working Relationship	2002-03-20
Jay's feeling bored ever since she was fired. She can't think of anything else to do around the house, and won't let Michael watch the Jordan game until he hires her as the new accountant at his firm. What comes as a great idea for Jay turns out to be a nightmare for Michael, because Jay wants to turn his morning ritual into running errands; takes over his office and gives the employees way more breaks than they should get. Cornered, Michael goes to Jr. for advice, who tells his father he should just fire Jay. When he does, Jay is extremely hurt. After a deep talk, they decide Jay can continue to work side-by-side with Michael, but not as intrusive as before. Meanwhile, Claire tries to show Kady that E.T. is not so scary. Guest stars: DeRay Davis
21	Return of the Wall	2002-03-04
Jay is coaching Kady's soccer team. The girls complain it's not any fun and Michael tries talking to Jay about it. He ends up taking over coaching the team and promising to make it fun for the girls. Jay doubts all that fun will lead to any win and just waits for vengeance. When Michael's team loses, the girls are offbeat about it and Jay breaks the news that she's been asked to coach another team, and they'll be playing Michael's on Saturday. Jay's team wins, but at least Kady gets to score her first goal. Jay decides to retire from coaching after her win Ã¢€“ but not without enjoying her win over Michael. Guest stars: Brandee Benson, Bruce Fine, Jessica Sara
20	Papa Said Knock You Out	2002-02-27
Michael freaks out when he spots a gray hair, but not on his head. He feels he's getting too old, and decides to practice boxing again to get in shape. He even teaches Jr. some tricks and some punches, until Jr. knocks Michael out, giving him a black eye. Meanwhile, Claire is ready to go on her first date with Tony, and Jr. mishears their conversation and thinks they're having sex. He decides to defend his sister and confronts Tony, who gives him a black eye. But it all turns out fine after the situation is cleared. Guest stars: Philip Bolden
19	Failure to Communicate	2002-02-22
Michael's parents come to visit him, but Michael is worried about the way they treat each other and how that is reflecting on his own children. After a disastrous attempt to fix things, Michael and Jay finally decide to let things the way they were. Meanwhile, Jay and Michael worry about Jr.'s rush to have sex and his new girlfriend. Note: This episode was originally intended to air in season one, but for unknown reasons, ABC pulled back to season 2 Episode 19. Which is why Jazz Raycole portrays Claire, making this episode her very final appearance in the series. Guest stars: Charles Robinson, Denise Nicholas, Starling Victorian
18	Double Date	2002-02-13
Claire wants to go on her first date with Tony, but Michael is reluctant to let her. So he decides he and Jay should also go with them to the movies so they can check on Tony. He proves to be a perfect gentleman despite Michael's innumerous attempts to unmask him as a horny teenager. Such a gentleman that he even refuses to kiss Claire. Michael, who was so worried about his little girl, is shocked to see Claire kissing Tony. But now they know they can trust the boy. Meanwhile, Jr.'s at home babysitting for Kady and decides to take advantage of her. He has her play waitress for him and trades her dimes for his pennies, only to find out later she spit on his soda and traded him a penny worth 200 dollars. Guest stars: Matthew Waterson, Stuart Nixon
17	Table for Too Many (2)	2002-02-06
Michael, who dislikes going out to dinner because it's always an overpriced ordeal, allows Janet to convince him to take the family to a Japanese restaurant. Once there, he feels like he's being ripped off at every turn, and things go from bad to worse after the Kyles are seated with the incredibly annoying Parker family. Guest stars: Andy Morrow, Gabriel Iglesias, Jonathan Schmock, Kelly Coffield, Larry Miller, Lauren Tom, Lee Weaver, Marina Malota Darling, Max Alexander, Rolando Molina
16	Table for Too Many (1)	2002-02-06
Michael gets to the gas station and has to wait forever for the guy in front of him to move on. Irritated, he gets home to watch the Michael Jordan game on TV, but Jay says they're going out for family dinner at Tokahana's, an overpriced Japanese place. When they get there, the problems start before they even get inside. The valet charges 7 dollars to park their car Ã¢€“ a rip-off according to Michael. Jay has to give the man 10 dollars so they can finally enter the restaurant. Once there, they have to wait forever at the bar, where they are forced to buy drinks. Tired of waiting, Michael goes to check what's taking so long for their table, and the hostess makes them wait a little longer. Michael even pushes Kady into the fish pond, hoping that will make Jay want to go home, but no. Instead, she buys a 60 dollar sweatshirt for the girl. They finally get in, and who's at their table? The same guy from the gas station and his family! Guest stars: Aiko Tanaka, Larry Miller, Lauren Tom, Max Alexander, Rolando Molina
15	Road Trip	2002-01-30
Jay organizes a historic trip to Paul Revere's house for the entire family to learn more about American history. She even packs colonial food (which Michael hates) to give it an extra touch. Michael, unlike Jay, isn't so excited about spending a long time with Jay and Claire in a car. The reason? They're both on that time of the month, which spells trouble! The trip is full of problems, including being pulled over twice, Michael being lost and refusing to use the navigational system, Jay's neurosis about her weight, Jr. terrorizing Kady, Claire's whining and Kady playing with the voice alternator she got in her chicken from the chicken place clerk. The family survives, but when they finally get to Paul Revere's house, it's closed. Guest stars: Heather Stone, Johnny Pruitt, Patty Ross
14	Get Out	2002-01-23
Michael is on a mission Ã¢€” to get his notoriously late family dressed and ready to go to a wedding in 15 minutes, but everybody has some sort of problem that keeps them from getting fully ready. First it's Jay, who insists on having Michael's opinion on her outfit (so she can pick the exact opposite) and has a problem with his clapping. Then there's and Claire, who picked a not-so-formal dress. On top of that there's Kady, who decided to eat chocolate pudding and ruined her clothes. When they are finally ready to go, Kady has a bathroom urge, and the entire family goes back to the house. Finally, Jr. has a heart-to-heart talk with his dad about his mean jokes to him and they leave, missing a phone call from Michael's aunt saying the wedding is cancelled. Guest stars: Thea Vidale
13	Quality Time	2002-01-16
Janet is annoyed with Michael who feels that, after spending time with her, he's entitled to time alone Ã¢€” an opinion shared by the marriage counselors they end up seeing, much to Janet's further frustration. Meanwhile, Jr. wonders why Claire suddenly wants to hang out with him and his friends. (ABC) Guest stars: Jason Stuart, Kevin Knotts, Kristen Wilson
12	Learning to Earn It	2001-12-12
Michael decides to teach the kids how to handle money due to their inability of spending the allowance money wisely. He proposes that each kid comes up with their own business, and at the end of the week he'll double whatever profit they made. After a slow start selling ""lemon aids"", Kady discovers that garage sales are a very profitable business Ã¢€“ especially when you're selling perfectly good appliances for very cheap prices. Claire starts her very own beauty salon, using Jay's expensive hair care products and the good towels. And Jr. chooses gambling to make money, something Michael devotes his full attention to prove being wrong Ã¢€“ especially after losing his 3,000 dollars golf clubs to Jr. on blackjack Ã¢€“ by buying a slot machine and making Jr. lose all the money he made. Guest stars: Megan Miller, Melissa Miller, Rudee Lipscomb
11	Letting Go	2001-11-28
Kady has acquired a hamster and Claire has a crush on a boy named Tony. Both developments pose parental challenges for Michael and Jay. The hamster dies. And Michael wishes Claire's new beau would follow suit. (TV Guide) Guest stars: Heather Stone, James Widdoes
10	The Whole World is Watching	2001-11-21
Jay buys Jr. computer appliances (including a 24-hour broadcast webcam), and Michael protests saying he'll only use it for porno instead of studying. They start to fight over who's in charge, and make up on Jr.'s room, unaware that they're being seen through Jr.'s website by the entire world. The next day, Jr. discovers what his parents did, and seeing the unlimited reach of the internet, Michael decides to use it for promoting his business. Guest stars: Anthony Anderson, Cara Mia Wayans, Philip Bolden
9	Jay Gets Fired	2001-11-14
Jay's in for a surprise when she takes Claire and Kady to her office on Take Your Daughters to Work Day: She gets fired. ""Baby, I'm so sorry,"" Michael tells her. She knows he doesn't mean it: Now he has the full-time housewife he's been longing for. (TV Guide) Guest stars: Jim Vallely, Lee Arenberg, Maggie Rowe
8	Let Them Eat Pie	2001-11-07
Claire, playing a dare game with Jr. and Kady, eats Michael's piece of pie. Michael's punishment: Let them eat pie (and only pie). Meanwhile, Michael offers to be the dieting Jay's ""chubby buddy"": He'll eat the same lo-cal food she does. Of course, he doesn't tell her that he plans to cheat. (TV Guide) Guest stars: Amy Hill, Beth Payne, Marilyn Martinez
7	Michael's Garden	2001-10-31
Lou Rawls guest stars in an episode that takes a lighthearted but informative look at a serious problem: colon cancer. It's especially acute among African-Americans over 40Ã¢€”and guess who's 40? Not only that, but Michael has been having bathroom problems. Still, he won't go to the doctor. ""What is it with men?"" Janet fumes. ""You take better care of your cars than you do of your bodies."" That doesn't change his mind, but the thought of not being there for his kids does, so he has a colonoscopy. But first he gets a preview of the procedure in his dreams. That's where RawlsÃ¢€”as a singing doctorÃ¢€”comes in. (TV Guide) Guest stars: Amy Hill, Buddy Johnson, Lou Rawls, Phil Reeves
6	He Heard, She Heard	2001-10-24
Claire asks her parents to go to a party, but Michael won't let her. Jay thinks he should trust his daughter more, so he lets her spend the night over at Erica's (even though that wasn't his original decision). When he picks up the phone, he Ã¢€Ëœaccidentally' listens to Claire's conversation, where she says she'll fool Michael and go to the party. Michael sets up a scheme to catch her, but Kady overhears it. Claire bribes her sister with liquorish so she'll page her when Michael leaves the house. The plan works, and Michael can't rest until he discovers how Claire tricked him. Finally, he bribes Kady and catches Claire and her friends with a fake party he made up. Guest stars: Cara Mia Wayans, Rudee Lipscomb
5	Thru Thick and Thin	2001-10-17
Janet returns home from taking care of her mom's injury, and she's put on a few pounds after eating mom's home cooking. Michael doesn't know how to ""diplomatically"" tell his wife that she's packing a little bit extra. The episode builds to a dream sequence, in which Janet imagines that the entire family is tremendously overweight. Guest stars: Anthony Anderson
4	Perfect Dad	2001-10-10
The kids complain that Michael is being too strict since Jay left the house to take care of their grandma, so they call for a family meeting where they all discuss the way they think the family should be, with no repercussions. Jr. thinks having a rapper for a dad would be cool; Claire thinks the perfect dad should be the manager of the country's #1 boy band and Kady thinks Michael should be a big blue dragon (much like TV's Barney). Michael shows them how these versions could go wrong, and shares his thoughts of perfect children (which also wouldn't work). At the end they all agree they should work for a better family relationship, even if it's not how they dreamed it to be. Guest stars: Crystal Sierra, Gary Coleman, JD Pardo, Jeremy J. Syl Sylvers, Keeira Lyn Ford, Laura Savery, Michael Dow, Olivia Milo Pence, Phil Reeves, Rachel Nicole Bridges, Shaquille O'Neal
3	No Rules	2001-10-03
The kids are chafing at Michael's household rules, so he drops them all. He also stops doing anything for them. That means they must cook their own meals and get themselves to school. It also means that Jr. may eat in his room---and live with the ants the food attracts. And it means that Claire may talk on the telephone as long as she likes, as long as she uses the pay phone Michael has installed. (TV Guide)
2	Mom's Away (2)	2001-09-26
The pregnancy test was Charmaine's, who is thinking about running away from home. Thanks to Michael's advice on teen parenting (something he had to go through himself), Charmaine decides to talk to her parents about it. Meanwhile, Michael tries to prove to Jr. that his friends are not as friendly as he thinks, something Jr. only realizes after one of the guys tries to hit on his sister Claire. And Michael goes on with the story on Kady's birth, how he took over the pregnancy for Jay and how she ended up with Shaquille O'Neal thanks to a hospital mixup. Guest stars: Buddy Johnson, Gary Coleman, James Widdoes, Michael James Johnson, Phil Reeves, Raven-Symoné, Shaquille O'Neal
1	Mom's Away (1)	2001-09-26
While Jay is away taking care of her mother who broke the leg, Michael is left in charge of the house and the kids. They all miss their mother, and nothing Michael does seems to be as good how Jay did. Jr. wants to join the basketball team. Michael doubts he'll make it, but when he does Michael has other problems to worry about: Jr.'s friends, who seem to be using him. Meanwhile, Kady is cranky and not even Michael's efforts to make cookies just like her mother's are working. Trying to get a smile from her, he starts to tell her how she was born. Claire's friend Charmaine is spending the night over. But the two have bigger worries when a pregnancy test comes out positive. Guest stars: Michael James Johnson, Raven-Symoné, Tanner Scott Richards

Season 1 (show/hide)
11	Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow	2001-05-09
Michael's accountant dies suddenly, making Mike take a whole new perspective about his life. He buys a wig (or a hair piece as he like to call it) and starts to demonstrate his love for his family in a weird way. He even buys a motorcycle and an RV, in a misguided effort to live life to its fullest. Jay tells the kids it's just a phase, but even her is going crazy with Michael. He only goes back to his old being after he cries the death of his friend and realize there's a lot more about life than he thought. Guest stars: David Wells, Doug Banks
10	A Little Romance	2001-05-02
Michael's brother Ken comes to visit and brings his newest girlfriend. While Jr. is mainly interested in seeing parts of her body, Michael envies his brother because his own sex life became a little boring - Jay keeps asking for more spontaneity and Michael doesn't know what to do. His brother tells him to innovate and Michael ends up catching a cold when he dances naked in the backyard for Jay. Meanwhile, Claire is worried about winning a dancing contest. She's not satisfied with Jr. being the only one with trophies to show around, and despite her father's dissatisfaction with her dance moves, she manages to get a second place - which is not exactly what she hoped for. Guest stars: Daphne Duplaix, Keenen Ivory Wayans, Marlene Forte
9	Breaking Up and Breaking It	2001-04-25
Claire develops her first real crush on a boy, and Michael does everything to break them up. But instead of threatening the guy like he would usually do, Michael become friends with him, to the point where the boy wants to spend more time with Michael then with Claire. After Claire dumps him, Jay makes Michael dump him too, which is a little hard because he is listens to Michael. Jr., on the other hand, has been busier playing with himself. Ever since those hormones kicked in, Jr. spends most of the day in the bathroom, until he ""breaks"" his toy and has to take some time out. Guest stars: Andrew MacFarlane, Phil Reeves
8	He Said, She Said	2001-04-18
Jay wants Michael to quit watching TV and spend a little more time with the family - something that apparently only she wants. But Michael insists on watching a basketball game. When Jay talks to him, he doesn't pay any attention, and later tries to find out what she told him. Then he tells her something, but Jay's too busy talking to one of her girlfriends on the phone, so she doesn't listen either. When the evening comes and they are ready to go out for dinner, Jay apologizes for not paying any attention and they decide to leave the kids alone. But will they pay any attention to their parents?
7	Snapping and Sniffing	2001-04-18
Jr. is having problems at school with a bully, so Michael and Janet invite his parents over to discover some of the kid's weak points. Jr. teases the kid back and Claire punches him in the nose. Now Jr. is feeling humiliated, and George's father drops by to have a talk, where he and Michael argue and threat each other. Meanwhile, Michael tells Janet she is not around enough, and she starts to realize that when she misses Kady's first tooth and her new ""smell the cushions"" thing. Guest stars: Jacqueline Schultz, Preston Wamsley, Stephen Lee
6	Working It	2001-04-11
Michael hires an attractive girl to tutor Junior in math. Guest stars: David Lewison, Dawn Stern
5	Making the Grade	2001-04-11
Jr. gets an F in Algebra and forges it into an A. Claire finds out about it and soon starts to blackmail Jr. so she won't tell their parents. But Michael and Janet are smarter than that and decide to teach Jr. a lesson by ""toying"" with him. After numerous attempts, Janet decides to take her own actions on Claire, while Michael still tries to make Jr.'s guilt speak out. That only happens when Michael has Jr.'s teacher over. Guest stars: Alexander Folk
4	Of Breasts and Basketball	2001-04-04
Michael (Damon Wayans) doesn't take it well when he loses at basketball; Claire (Jazz Raycole) buys a padded bra Guest stars: Cara Mia Wayans, Mary Torres, Robert Ri’chard, Rudee Lipscomb, Saachiko
3	Grassy Knoll	2001-04-04
Janet is trying to get rid of some old clothes, so after Michael opposes to that she and him make a deal that everything that is not worn by the end of the week has to go. All week long they dress out-of-style clothes (Michael Jackson, Flashdance, Madonna, etc). Meanwhile, Junior is trying to learn how to play the guitar and his friend convinces him to smoke pot. When Michael and Janet realize, they decide to play with their minds and Jr. promises never to do it again. And Kady gets angry at Claire for avoiding her. Guest stars: Robert Ri’chard
2	The Truth Hurts	2001-03-28
Michael suspects the family is less than truthful about certain matters. Guest stars: Kyla Wayans, Rhyon Nicole Brown
1	Pilot	2001-03-28
Michael Kyle (Damon Wayans) quests for a traditional family. Guest stars: Marlene Forte, Wendell Pierce

Season 0 (show/hide)
1	My Wife and Kids: Access All Areas	2004-06-12
No description available.

(Source: thetvdb.com)

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